I continue to find ministry hard, but very satisfying. Each day I am challenged by youth who are at different places in their faith. We continue to be in a season of life where fruit is being produced in the form of spiritually growing teenagers. This is a true blessing, because many times in ministry the fruit is not always visible and obvious as it is now.
I am mentoring a 17 year old male student who recently approached me and asked to go on a walk. He confessed he was a habitual liar, and that he had been lying to all the other students about who he was since he had arrived on campus. I wasn't sure if the sweat pouring off his forehead was from the heat of the day, or from the continual burden of holding in these lies. He wasn't quite sure what to do, but after we prayed he had the strength from God to do the right thing! It was a joy to see the physical burden lifted off his chest as he confessed to the other students. Afterwards he told me how glad he was to come to CMA, otherwise he would still be living in lies.
Our campus has been focusing in on prayer for this month, and one of our female students was telling me how she isn't very good at praying. She said she talks to God like she is having a normal conversation, and tells Him about her day. She sometimes will go to the bathroom to be alone and tell Him how she is frustrated or struggling with anger. With wide eye's I told her that this is exactly what God desires of us. A part of me was even jealous of my very new sister-in-Christ. Just simply talking with God, has never come very naturally for me as it seems to be for her. I've been thinking recently about the question: Why should I talk with God when He already knows everything about my day. I think part of it is, just like I love hearing my one year old talk in broken english to me, God loves hearing me talk to Him. He takes pleasure in listening to me. Another part is, if I truly love God and want him to be an all encompassing presence in my life, I will naturally want to speak with him.
Honestly, a lot of times I struggle having the desire. My most selfish prayer is that God would increase my prayerfulness. I echo this prayer from AW Tozer:"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed."
Please pray that my family and our campus will go throughout our days with an attitude of prayer
Blessings,
Matthew
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